Love you Zindagi
A movie date with myself.
I would like to share a special experience. It’s special for me as I did this for the first time in my life and managed to break down some self-created inner barriers. It was a Monday, my better half was out of town for work, and my son was busy with his assignments. I usually have ample time to myself during the day, and I enjoy my own company. I meditate, read something inspiring, journal my thoughts, channel messages from the divine, and likewise. Essentially, dwelling in the things that I love. That morning I messaged a friend to find out if she’d like to accompany me for the movie – Dear Zindagi.
As I waited for her reply, I couldn’t help but wonder if she had already seen it. I don’t know what got into me that day, but I was determined to go see the movie in the multiplex that evening itself, even if it meant going alone. I have never ever gone for a movie to a theatre all by myself. It’s always been with my family or with close friends. I guess I had created a barrier for myself. Movie time for me is a fun time with family and friends. Never dreamt of having fun alone. Alien concept for me.
It was interesting to observe the tricks my mind played, and the lousy excuses it provided me with to postpone or cancel this movie date with myself. I arrived at the mall an hour early, the show was at 7:30pm, so I went around window shopping and browsing. It was a weekday, so I was sure that I’d get tickets easily. In reality, I was stalling and postponing the moment where I would have to go and buy the ticket, waiting till the last minute, maybe to backout and go home ( I have done this once before. Went to the mall, then up to the multiplex, reached there and just did an about turn and came back home). But, something within was determined that day and goaded me to purchase the tickets first and then browse, which I did.
At 7pm I went to the food court and got my favourite dish, and sat down to relish it. The time was moving oh-so-slowly. Then came the moment to go to the theatre. Yes, I was self-conscious and it did feel a bit odd at first to walk alone into the auditorium. Interestingly, as I walked towards my seat, I just dropped all thoughts and sat down to enjoy myself. I told my mind, we watch a movie on TV alone, don’t we? Well, let’s enjoy what we love, on a big screen. It’s a new experience, so let’s make the most of it.
The funny part is, I was still looking around to see if there were others like me, alone, by themselves. And there were a few (still looking for a reference point, dear mind, to justify loving and enjoying myself). And what a beautiful movie – Dear Zindagi! What a wonderful choice by my inner master to help me break my barriers. To say that I loved the movie and enjoyed myself would be an understatement. I came back happy – no, joyful and stronger within, feeling free. Felt like a bird who just discovered that the door of its cage had always been left open. It feels awesome to try something for the first time in your life, and that too which helps you break inner barriers and sets your spirit free.
Love you, Zindagi. How wonderful!